How to Stay Sane in an Insane World
Thursday, March 17, 2011
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I have a disability and, because of it, I'm unemployed, get too little from ODSP, live in subsidized housing, and often can't get easy access to the basic essentials of life, such as groceries, clothing, transportation, wheelchair repairs, or even a volunteer or paid job. I also can't afford to take part in something that will give me a sense of inclusion. With government assistance, also comes an insane amount of bureaucracy and being forced to deal with the impact of mistakes that are frequently made by the one's who administer the social assistance programs. Yet, despite all this, I'm still relatively sane. Let's rephrase that. I'm not depressed and I haven't given up on life. I'll let others decide if I am sane or not. :)
Someone asked me, how do you deal with the impact of having a disability and seeing the people in power doing so little to remove barriers or set policy to improve, not diminish, our quality of life? I wrote out this reply and then decided to share it here so that it might help others to find tips on how to seek out the lighter side of life.
I don't know how I learned to deal with it mentally, other than to say I have developed a wicked sense of humour and I am convinced that the crazy laughter is kicking in endorphin's to pull me out of the dumps. I laugh at the most inopportune times and at the stupidest things, so it can be really embarrassing. At least I'm no longer depressed.
Somewhere along the line I learned what values were important - that of inclusion, helping a neighbour, sticking up for a friend, a family member, building a sense of community, and so on. So when I don't see it happening, I have learned to mock those in power for their ignorance.
On email, you can't see or hear me laughing so hard at the stupidity that my gut hurts. I just did that the other day when I saw the doors had been taken off of the shelter. I couldn't even wait to get home. I boarded the bus laughing my fool head off. When I calmed down, the passengers asked what was so funny, so I told them.
Bingo, I'd just raised awareness and at the same time, kicked in those sanity restoring endorphin's.
People that don't know me must think I'm mentally unbalanced because I don't meet the norm for seriousness, but I really couldn't care less.
The good news is that in some pockets, like Queen's University, I am actually making some inroads. The laughter piqued the curiosity of one or two students and now, whenever they need a break to get away from the stress and hum-drum of studying, they ask me to join them at Ben's pub, the Grad Club, or wherever.
There, they pepper me with questions about barriers, react incredulously to the harsh reality of the situation, bring other students over to look at, and laugh at, my pictures of barriers, and the word passes on.
The thing is, even with humor added, the students will get to the point where it is too much to hear about all that I have to deal with on one of my more struggling days. They can see the paperwork I place before them from Housing and/or ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program), they know the bus schedules, and they know how impossible it would be to get the job done, so they will tell me to stop - that they could never do it and it is stressing them out.
By the time I share the story, I have met the insane demands, so I once again, gain strength in knowing I somehow had defied the odds and accommplished something. I chalk another one up to success. By recognizing the accomplishments, I can also use it as a tool to ward off a depression and retain some sense of hope.
Every single day I run into another example of rudeness, exclusion, loneliness, or whatever, and I don't even have a close friend to laugh or cry with, but I seek out what is good and I do my best to go for it.
When I write postings here, I am doing it to raise awareness and NOT to complain. I know it doesn't always come across that way, but I'm not sure how to write in a way to reveal the humorous side of me.
My purpose for writing every single thing you see here, on Facebook, in my Blogs, or wherever, is to raise awareness to the ones who don't live in our shoes.
The hope is, that by creating an understanding of what the limits are for all of us, we can speak out in committee meetings, AAC's (Accessibility Advisory Committee's), or write letters to bureaucrats in solidarity for the difficulties our barriers give us each and every day.
We all know that others won't tolerate it, but we also know that unless we can find a way to take away the ability of the decision makers at the top, their support networks, their money, and the lawyers who will help them find a way to accommodate a sudden loss of ability, we're not going to get their ear very easily.
With that reality in mind, I keep sane by mocking them and laughing at their expense.
I've also learned to take great pleasure from the stupidest little things. For example, on one of my escape trips to Toronto (where I go to regain my sanity by taking on a volunteer job so I can feel useful), I went down to the subway level at Union Station and went back and forth down the halls where the stores are. Why, do you ask? Because, even in rush hour, people had their eyes open, saw me, hit the power door button, and let me wheel through the door full speed ahead. The politeness simply warmed my heart and gave me great pleasure. Here, you have to beg someone to open the door.
My latest humorous tactic to wake people up, involves a kids' toy amplifier, and a home-made microphone that I made using the speaker disk from a singing greeting card. No one will know what it is, and that's good. I disguised it so I can throw people off guard when I talk to this little plastic disk and my voice will come out amplified with a distorted voice that says, "get out of my way." The hope is that the shock value will not only wake them up and get them to move, but will hopefully embarrass them enough that they will make a conscious effort to become more aware of the world and their surroundings. One day I'll create a video of it in action and share it on You Tube.
I hope this answers the question about how to preserve ones sanity in the midst of this crazy, selfish, and power hungry world.
Please read my other Blogs:
Accessible Transit: http://wheelchairdemon-tranist.blogspot.com
Accessible Health Care: http://wheelchairdemon-health.blogspot.com
Someone asked me, how do you deal with the impact of having a disability and seeing the people in power doing so little to remove barriers or set policy to improve, not diminish, our quality of life? I wrote out this reply and then decided to share it here so that it might help others to find tips on how to seek out the lighter side of life.
I don't know how I learned to deal with it mentally, other than to say I have developed a wicked sense of humour and I am convinced that the crazy laughter is kicking in endorphin's to pull me out of the dumps. I laugh at the most inopportune times and at the stupidest things, so it can be really embarrassing. At least I'm no longer depressed.
Somewhere along the line I learned what values were important - that of inclusion, helping a neighbour, sticking up for a friend, a family member, building a sense of community, and so on. So when I don't see it happening, I have learned to mock those in power for their ignorance.
On email, you can't see or hear me laughing so hard at the stupidity that my gut hurts. I just did that the other day when I saw the doors had been taken off of the shelter. I couldn't even wait to get home. I boarded the bus laughing my fool head off. When I calmed down, the passengers asked what was so funny, so I told them.
Bingo, I'd just raised awareness and at the same time, kicked in those sanity restoring endorphin's.
People that don't know me must think I'm mentally unbalanced because I don't meet the norm for seriousness, but I really couldn't care less.
The good news is that in some pockets, like Queen's University, I am actually making some inroads. The laughter piqued the curiosity of one or two students and now, whenever they need a break to get away from the stress and hum-drum of studying, they ask me to join them at Ben's pub, the Grad Club, or wherever.
There, they pepper me with questions about barriers, react incredulously to the harsh reality of the situation, bring other students over to look at, and laugh at, my pictures of barriers, and the word passes on.
The thing is, even with humor added, the students will get to the point where it is too much to hear about all that I have to deal with on one of my more struggling days. They can see the paperwork I place before them from Housing and/or ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program), they know the bus schedules, and they know how impossible it would be to get the job done, so they will tell me to stop - that they could never do it and it is stressing them out.
By the time I share the story, I have met the insane demands, so I once again, gain strength in knowing I somehow had defied the odds and accommplished something. I chalk another one up to success. By recognizing the accomplishments, I can also use it as a tool to ward off a depression and retain some sense of hope.
Every single day I run into another example of rudeness, exclusion, loneliness, or whatever, and I don't even have a close friend to laugh or cry with, but I seek out what is good and I do my best to go for it.
When I write postings here, I am doing it to raise awareness and NOT to complain. I know it doesn't always come across that way, but I'm not sure how to write in a way to reveal the humorous side of me.
My purpose for writing every single thing you see here, on Facebook, in my Blogs, or wherever, is to raise awareness to the ones who don't live in our shoes.
The hope is, that by creating an understanding of what the limits are for all of us, we can speak out in committee meetings, AAC's (Accessibility Advisory Committee's), or write letters to bureaucrats in solidarity for the difficulties our barriers give us each and every day.
We all know that others won't tolerate it, but we also know that unless we can find a way to take away the ability of the decision makers at the top, their support networks, their money, and the lawyers who will help them find a way to accommodate a sudden loss of ability, we're not going to get their ear very easily.
With that reality in mind, I keep sane by mocking them and laughing at their expense.
I've also learned to take great pleasure from the stupidest little things. For example, on one of my escape trips to Toronto (where I go to regain my sanity by taking on a volunteer job so I can feel useful), I went down to the subway level at Union Station and went back and forth down the halls where the stores are. Why, do you ask? Because, even in rush hour, people had their eyes open, saw me, hit the power door button, and let me wheel through the door full speed ahead. The politeness simply warmed my heart and gave me great pleasure. Here, you have to beg someone to open the door.
My latest humorous tactic to wake people up, involves a kids' toy amplifier, and a home-made microphone that I made using the speaker disk from a singing greeting card. No one will know what it is, and that's good. I disguised it so I can throw people off guard when I talk to this little plastic disk and my voice will come out amplified with a distorted voice that says, "get out of my way." The hope is that the shock value will not only wake them up and get them to move, but will hopefully embarrass them enough that they will make a conscious effort to become more aware of the world and their surroundings. One day I'll create a video of it in action and share it on You Tube.
I hope this answers the question about how to preserve ones sanity in the midst of this crazy, selfish, and power hungry world.
Please read my other Blogs:
Accessible Transit: http://wheelchairdemon-tranist.blogspot.com
Accessible Health Care: http://wheelchairdemon-health.blogspot.com
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