Healthy Holidays: A letter from your on-site septic system

Dear Harold Homeowner,

I’m Oscar, your on-site septic system, and I’m writing you this letter to save both of us from big headaches this holiday season.

With the holidays upon us, I know that I am going to be working harder than usual. I am prepared to be functioning at my very best. But, I can’t do that alone.

I need your help ensuring that no one sends me waste that could make it more difficult to do my job. Do you know how important my work is to you?  Do you really think about my well-being at all?  If I receive any wastes other than those from bathrooms, laundry rooms, the kitchen sink and the dishwasher, I might just go on strike. Trust me, you don’t want to pay for a replacement! 

Every year, I have nightmares when I think about you pouring your leftover used cooking oil from the holiday bird down the drain in the kitchen sink. Isn’t it bad enough that you use your garbage disposal to grind up the turkey carcass and other holiday leftovers, and send it all down the drain? The fats, greases and oils coat the inside of all the pipes that flow into me, and create big globs of materials that I just can’t get rid of. 

You just had me pumped out last year, and I’m getting full of scum and solids already. I am baffled that you think that lots of hot water and soaps will clear out any blobs and globs – that only makes me warmer and full of bubbles!!

This mistreatment needs to stop now!

Here are some better ways to dispose of your holiday leftovers:

  • Use curbside organics composting services to recycle large amounts of food wastes. 
  •  Never use kitchen sink garbage disposals to get rid of food, fats, oils, and greases. Scrape or wipe excess food residues off cookware and dishes before washing.

Please share this message with your friends and family, even those folks that don’t have a septic system. My city cousin, the sewer system, is even busier during the holiday season, and shares horror stories with me about the things he sees every day. 

If you want to ring in the New Year with peace and joy, please show some goodwill to all sewer and on-site septic systems.

Happy Holidays!

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